Pag-uwi

Habang naglalakad ako pauwi,
ang malamig na hangin ang sumasalubong sa bawat hakbang ko..
Habang kasabay ng paglakad ko ang mga magkawahak kamay na mga tao,
tumingin ako sa tabi ko at hinanap ang kamay mo..
na lagi kong hawak..
ang mga braso mo na yumayakap sa akin tuwing nilalamig ako.
Makalipas ang ilang segundo, naisip ko
mag-isa na nga lang pala ako..
.. iniwan mo.

Friendster

Because of some stupid reason i changed my friendster's email address and now i can't log in ='< so i did the next best thing (or so i thought) i made a new friendster account.. i know, im not actually into the whole friendster thingy since... since i dont know when.. but then, just wanted to stay connected.. to friends ;)

so guys, pls add me up.. cathie.ganda@hotmail.com

What happened?

.. a lot of things actually.. the last post, prior to Going Back was if im not mistaken was way way back.. hehe, gets?

.. anyhoo, God has been gracious and faithful, and good, and merciful, and loving, and caring, and generous, and i could go on and on and still i wouldnt let you guys know exactly what He has done for me and what He is doing with me.. right at this very moment.. right at this very seat.. unless you let Him take hold of you.. unless you let Him take hold of your life..

.. last year, was well, quite a year for me.. learned a lot.. experienced a lot.. missed a lot.. i feel this year will be a challenging one.. i feel that God will reveal something, of which i NOW felt afraid of it..

"Lord, i have no words or feelings right now.. just thoughts.. thoughts about me, thoughts about You. You have been very faithful to me, and i find myself not worthy to receive Your grace.. but still you are gracious.. i could not imagine my life without You, Oh GOD.. here is my heart.. please take it and never let it go..

Going Back

.. just what does it mean for us to back?

go back to where?..

go back to whom?..

go back when?..

I miss you..

I miss you so much..

I promise, i will never leave you again..

my birthday wishlist

its 3 more days to go.. i thought i'd make a wishlist for my birthday just so, you guys would want to know what i want for my birthday if you're gonna give me presents.. haha (fat chance, yeah i know)

WISHLIST:
(This is in random order)

1. my favorite chocolate (inside a big glass jar)
2. a cd full of songs that has a title of telenovelas and movie titles (e.g. can this be love, ikaw ang lahat sa akin)
3. a book - "Five people you meet in Heaven" and "Tuesdays with Morrie"
4. a bag - pink preferably, but white and blue and yellow will do ;)
5. a blouse - nice white blouse
6. a hug from everybody i love
7. a smile from each person that would greet me :)
8. a rainbow in the sky
9. a new watch (becoz my old one's broke)
10. body massage or maski foot spa lang :)
11. a big bag of potatao chips
12. a new celfone (Santa this is my request, if you can afford this)
13. a necklace, dahil i dont have one :D
14. preppy black stilettos or shoes (pampasok)
15. nice pics thongs (that's sandals)
16. a cotton white or pink jacket
17. pouch bag (kikay kit) for my kikay things
18. white socks
19. hankerchief (wala na pala akong panyo eh)
20. barbie pencilcase (haha, for my pens)
21. scrunge palda (which everyone has)
22. different colored spandex (i still dont have lilac, yellow, light blue and light green and cream)
23. pint of my favorite ice cream (yummy)
24. a surprise party
25. and a prayer from all my loved ones :)

*I actually can't think of anything that i want for my birthday, yan eh mga naisip ko lang as of the moment.. yan eh mga hindi gaanong pinagisipan, although some of them are the things that i have been eyeing to buy for the longest possible time :)

5 days to go..

5 days to go, crappy monday na ulit..
5 days to go, closing ng ramp ng SBC..
5 days to go, may endorsement nanaman ang JS Select at CCI..
5 days to go, tapos na ang linggong ito..
5 days to go, special-regular-working day na.. kasi..
5 days to go, birthday ko na..

im turning 16.. haha :)

haay, tumatanda nanaman ede ko, pero itsura ko ganon parin :) mukha parin akong highschool :)

so many praises, so little time to list them all..

il find time.. hopefully within this week..

God+is+Good = GIG!

PRAISE GOD sa very successful GIG na naganap kahapon ng gabi sa Caloocan Bible Church, grabeh ang mga taong pumunta.. nakakabless ang numbers nila :) I pray that GOD is really blessed as much as we are sa evangelistic gig na ito. Galeng ng mga banda, lalo na daw yung huli sa ni ate nikki, harhar! Ü Mejo gabi na nga lang natapos, well, actually umaga na pala :) Pero maski inumaga na kami sa pagbabalik ng ayos ng church eh, hindi pagod ang naramdaman naming lahat :) Iba yung saya na naiibigay ni GOD pag alam mong lahat ng ginagawa mo ay para sa kanya hindi na siya yung "Fleeting Happiness" hindi yung mababaw na kaligayahan. Masarap ang feeling nga nakakapag-share ng gospel, nakakakaba nga lang sa una pero in the process parang wala nalang sayo, parang kabisadong kabisado mo na, GOD really is with you at siya ang magbibigay sayo ng mga tama mong sasabihin :) When we pray talaga, GOD answers (i can testify, totoo talaga siya Ü) Haay. Nakakapagod pero masaya, at nakaka-bless. Ü

50 Things Girls Wish Men Knew

1. Don't tell us when you think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.
11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
16. Laugh at our jokes.
17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.
18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.
19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.
20. Do not start with us. You will not win.
21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.
22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.
23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes!
24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month.
25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car.
26. We love surprises!
27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.
28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.
29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!
30. Clean your room before we come over.
31. Always bursh your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity.
32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.
33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.
34. Hit it and quit it, because later I'll be with you're best friend and he lasts for hours.
35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.
36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"
37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.
38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.
39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.
40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough.
41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.
42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.
43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too.
44. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!
45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.
46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.
47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.
48. DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME ENLESS YOU MEAN IT!!!!!
49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you.
50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.

bus ride

Monday night - 730pm
Tired and on my way home..

kunduktor: saan kau?
ako: Sangandaan isa
(kunduktor nagbigay ng ticket)
ako: sukli ko po
kunduktor: wala na
ako: bente pesos? Sangandaan lang po ako
kunduktor: bente na hanggang Sangandaan
ako: (hindi parin makapaniwala) bente na hanggang Sangandaan? kelan pa kayo nagtaas?
kunduktor (hindi na ko pinansin)

Tuesday night - 730pm
Tired as usual and on my way home..

ako: magkano po hanggang Sangandaan?
kunduktor: twenty five pesos
ako: TWENTY FIVE PESOS ISA? SANGANDAAN?
kunduktor: oo nagtaas na, mahuhuli tayo pag di natin sinunod, may warning na nga ako galing sa inspektor eh, masusupinde ako ng isang buwan pag hindi ako nagsingil ng tama.. blah blah blah (hindi na ako nakikinig, eto na tumigil ka na..)

grabeh, hindi talaga ako makapaniwala na sobrang laki ng tinaas ng pamsahe ko ang dating P17 na bayad ko ay P25 na ngayon, mula Ortigas hanggang Sangandaan.. grabeh na talaga! tsk tsk..

Tag ni trisha

What are the things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you?

• halos lahat naman yata eh singing my heart out and pretending to be a diva ang no. sa list nila, but anyway, that's my no. 1 also.. hehe..
• making an MTV, haha, sounds funny?! i turn up the electric fan to no. 3 and play my favorite music and then act like im in an MTV shooting :)
• one of the things im fond of doing EVERYTIME no one is around.. Model around, like im in a fashion show or some sort of a pageant, hehe, which i found out that, hey, im good at that.. ahihi :)
• crying my heart out, im quite emotional you know..
• look at my albums and reminisce the past, hey, its fun especially when you think of how fun and sad that picture reminds you :)
• PRAY OUT LOUD, i get to express myself really well to God and i get to tell him things i would like to tell him. Ü
• lastly, check out porn sites, shoplift, hang out in gay bars, check in sa motels.. --> haha, joke lang! some of the things i wouldnt be caught dead doing.. hey, that give me an idea *think tank* (a light bulb lights up above my head)

PS. il make one of these and il tag u in guys, just wait for the most absurd questions.. hahaha.. Ü

What lowers your stress/ blood pressure / anxiety level?

(il rephrase it, or il answer it nlng as: Ano ang nakakapagpawala ng stress ko, etc?)

• no. 1 on the list --> CHOCOLATES specially my favorite (guess what)
• no. 2 on the list --> Potato Chips specially ung jack n jill (ung orange,)
• no. 3 on the list --> a Good Book specially ung may mga pictures (hehe)
• no. 3 on the list --> my Favorite Songs specially the one im liking right now
• no. 4 on the list --> Window shopping just adoring those dress & shoes :)
• no. 5 on the list --> a SMILE and Rainbow from everyone :)
• the best on the list --> time with God a good-long-quiet-prayer Ü

eto mga ita-tag ko --> Bij (kung d mo pa toh nagagawa) Dario (long time no post), Abe (lagay mo sa 360 mo) Chinky (il check this sa tabulas mo) Khean (d ko alam kung san mo toh lalagay, bahala ka na.. malaki ka na!

from now on..

im gonna post what my blog name is all about.. smiles and rainbows.. :) i figured that iv been down, stress and sad this past few days and yet God is always making me smile and sending me rainbows which i do not eben take time to notice :)

Be still

Still feeling ironic, actually don't know why.. these past few days have been really exhausting for me.. maybe because ive been sick for the past two weeks and im not even near to healing.. :( But still, i thank God that He is always there :) i never lose hope, because my hope is found in Him :) The last time God and I talked he told me "Be still and know that i am God." and i answered "Yes, Lord."

Psalms 46:10

ironic

im sad but im happy

im weak but im strong

im poor but im rich

im brave but im strong

isnt ironic?!

sometimes its hard to be in the middle..

painting rainbows.. wearing a smile :)

Whoa, its been awhile and a lot of people are commenting unceasingly to my last post.. well guys, its quite true, finally im over .Freak. :) ive been meaning to make a post since last week of all the things that i am thankful for the past few days and il do it now na... :)

Things i thank God for.. the past few days..

• I thank God for air that im breathing always
• I thank God for the sunshine every morning
• I thank God for the smiles everywhere
• I thank God for always being with me while i walk thru the valley in the shadow of death
• I thank God for the strength He is always giving me
• I thank God for Strawberry Sundaes
• I thank God for my daddy that is always preparing my baon
• I thank God for Lola that never cease to cook delicious foods for us
• I thank God for mommy that is always rendering her unwavering support in my school endeavors
• I thank God for my University that shape me to become a person that i am now
• I thank God for Rainbows
• I thank God for Rain
• I thank God for medicine that serves as an instrument whenever i am sick (like now)
• I thank God for my friends that continue to help and pray for me all the time
• I thank God for Khean and Abe for doing some of the things im supposed to do
• I thank God for Ortigas Recruitment for the laughter everyday
• I thank God for Edel my ETC partner
• I thank God for Fridays :)
• I thank God for colorful pictures :)
• I thank God for French Fries
• I thank God for the Holy Spirit that always guides me
• I thank God for Salvation
• I thank God for God's Love
• I thank God for Jesus :)

and the list goes on and on.. maybe il be adding more someday.. if you want to add some more, just tell me.. we'll paint rainbows and smile for all the things thankful for.. :)

its over.. i give up..

1st text:
"Ive done the bravest thing in my life.. Letting go of someone i love, but as ive done my bravest thing.. ive never felt stronger.. all i can do is breakdown.. cry.. and wish i was never that brave.."

2nd text:
"There's a big difference between giving up and letting go.. LETTING GO is sacrificing what was rightfully yours.. GIVING UP is forgetting what was never yours."

3rd text:
"I give up.. :("

Reply:
"_________________?"


*tinanong ko si God, "bakit po may taong manhid?" sabi niya, "wala akong ginawang ganun".. napahiya ako at napatango nlng.. sabi pa niya, "manhid ba siya, o d mo lng matanggap na iba mahal niya?!"

*ngayon tanggap ko na.. :) im finished with all my cloudstorms :) and im drawing rainbows now.. .Freak. days are finally over :)

right now...

.Freak.


im loving rainbows... :)

.Freak

smile for the day :)

.Freak.

woke up feeling a little nauseated (if ever there is such a term), its a little early to be up, but i had to.. im going to work early.. or should i say, im going to leave the house early because im going to have a lunch date :)

Cathie: ma, can i borrow your perfume? dinala ni tinay pabango ko nnmn eh! mausok at mabaho magcommute eh..

MOM: ang aga mo nmn ata ngyn, anong oras ba pasok mo?

Cathie: 11am-8pm ang shift ko.. 11am ang pasok ko..

MOM: o, alas nuebe plang ha, bat ang aga mo?

Cathie: may lunch date ako :) balik ko nlng later pabango mo.. :) bye..

true enough, mausok at mabaho ang pagpasok ko sa opis..

im gonna meet my acquaintance at 10am, supposedly sa Gale, pero we met nlng sa baba ng ofc at sabay nlng kmi pumunta sa Gale.. we search for a chinese resto bcoz dats wer i like to eat.. we end up sa Ah Sin (im not sure if the sfelling is ryt!) forgetting that Mr. Choi is there nga pla! :( anyhoo, masarap din nmn sa Ah Sin! :)

after we had our lunch i invited him sa ofc, he has his ID nmn, manong guard wudnt know that he is from Alabang.. hehe.. we talked and he experience my job for awhile.. the conversation beside the ofc window went on.. "we talked like we already have known each other for a long time" .. but like all other talks, this has to end, after the hard pour, he left for a gimik with his college buddies.. :(

after awhile i rcv a txt msg.. wrong grammar - i thought.. hehe.. he corrected it nmn and now i know the txt.. :)

the rest of the day went on as usual, some pissing applicants, late endorsements, etc..
the rest of the day went on as usual, but with a smile.. :)

.Freak.

dreams...

.Freak.

Eliel tagged somethng about the interpretation or meaning of my dream.. i checked it up and this is what it says:

when i typed in DEATH:

Dream Dictionary

Definition:

Dreaming about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.

when i typed in MURDER:


Dream Dictionary

Definition:

Dreaming that you have committed a murder indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking. This could also mean an end to an addiction. Alternatively, you may have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at others. Dreaming that you witness a murder indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate. Dreaming that you are murdered, suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions. It also represents your unused talents. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.

the murder meaning is the most closest to what i experience right now.. seems so true after all.. :)

.Freak.

crush-ology 101

.Freak.

This is crush thing is actually from somebody else's blog.. hehe.. ninakaw ko lng! *evil laugh* enweiz, i want it to be here din sa blog ko! Ü


STAGE 1: ALIW AKO!
It goes like this, lalapit ka sa friend mo tapos you'll say:Ei! Kilala mo ba si _____ (mark, joseph, john, mike..or whatever his damn name is!)? Wala lang aliw lang talaga ako sa kanya *sabay smile* Hindi ko siya crush ha! Talagang nakakatuwa lang siya.Kaya nga eh, tuwang tuwa kahit it shows na aliw ka nga talaga grabeh! Di mo ba alam na diyan nagsisimula yan?!?

STAGE 2: NAKAKA-MISS SIYA
Ayan na po, hinahanap mo na. Yung dialogue naman nyan ganito:Uy nasan kaya si _____? Matagal ko na syang di nakikita eh.. Wala lang naninibago lang ako...Sigurado ka bang yun lang? Aba! Bago mo naman siya nakilala eh ok lang sayo na he does not exist eh bakit ngayon hina-hanap hanap mo na? Sigurado ka bang NANINIBAGO KA LANG?!?

STAGE 3: CUTE PALA SIYA!
a.k.a. the denial of reality!Hay ayaw pa kasing aminin eh paka totoo ka na noh!
"Ei, alam mo cute pala si _____! Pag tinignan mong mabuti o kaya. Ang cute naman niyang mag-smile tapos ang bouncy pa ng hair niya. Tapos biglang sasabihin, Hindi ko siya crush ha! Yung hair (smile or whateve na related sa kanya) lang nya gusto ko!TALAGA LANG HUH. Hmm.

STAGE 4: ALAM MO, CRUSH KO NA ATA SIYA
Hay naku! May pa yata-yata ka pang nalalaman! Ilang months or years mo inipon ang courage mo para aminin yan! Eh its sooooooooo obvious naman na! Alam na ng buong barkada mo bago mo pa man aminin... Well at least now honest ka na sa sarili mo.

STAGE 5: TODO NA TO!
Eto na siguro yung part na may maraming complications kasi alam na ng barkada mo at ikaw kilig effect ka sa isang tabi. Eto na yung stage na may sub-levels ayon sa mga kabaliwang gagawin mo.
Shy Effect (DAW!)Okay nandyan ka lang sa isang tabi, nagmumuni-muni kahit within 1 meter radius lang ang crush mo kunwari walang reaction tanong lang ha: HANGGANG KAILAN?
KababawanYung bang tipong nadikitan lang siya by a quarter of a secong ng HIBLA ng damit niya eh hanggang langit na yang tuwa mo... Yung bang pwede ka nang mamatay. Hay grabeh ha!O kaya naman makasalubong mo lang siya eh papasa ka na sa exams... Haha!
Non-stop TalkWell, meaning wala ka nang ibang bukam-bibig kundi SIYASIYASIYA!! It's all about him!!!
StalkerYou're a walking encyclopedia about him: Alam mo na lahat ng dapat malaman tungkol sa kanya - schedule, address, phone number, birthday, san siya tumatambay, lahat ng favorites niya, pangalan ng parents, niya size ng pants, shoes, shirts niya, pati yata brand ng brief niya alam mo na eh! Tsk tsk tsk... Freaky!!
ObsessionDo I have to explain it?


STAGE 6: GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Sa wakas, kilala ka na rin ng crush mo eh di happy ka na?! Its your time to shine at magpakitang-gilas.Kaso take note: This is the most dangerous or should I say complicated stage - once you get toknow him. There might be a possibility na ma in-love ka sa kanya PERO pwede rin na crush molang talaga siya. There's also a chance na mawala ang pagka-crush mo sa kanya and you'll end up being FRIENDS.Daming possibilities... It's up to you what to choose... Basta make sure na its the best for the both of you.Yun lang. At least now you know HOW the process works... ^^

.Freak.

mondays!

.Freak.

haay naku..

mondays are always crappy!

argh!

and the night before..

is always scary..

just last night..

nagigising ako halos every half an hour.. no kiddin'..and the dreams i have wer all the same.. its was all scary.. and all about DEATH..

cguro dahil to dun sa magkasunod na pinanood ko na suspense thriller film kahapon.. kainis, ung process nung pagtulog ko is..

makakatulog ako.. mananaginip, taz ung panaginip ko pa, papatayin daw ako anytime.. *scary tlga!* tapos magigising ako.. taz makakatulog ulit, mananaginip ulit, matatakot, magigising.. so on and so on.. argh!!

but the dream looks like so real.. the set-up, the place, the bed, even the atmosphere..

para ngang there's really a psycho in our room just waiting for the right time to stab me, pero pag nagigising ako, nagtatago siya..

seriously dudes, that's wat it feels like!

haay, crap all that suspense thriller that i watched!

next time for my movie marathon, its only gonna be romantic movies or romantic comedy, or romanatic drama.. lahat na romantic.. para mapanaginipan ko din eh romantic.. hehehe...

.Freak.