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Sunday, May 06, 2007

LONG TIME, NO BLOG

As what I always do, I always post late blogs. I haven’t been updating my blog for the past few months. A lot of things happened lately. Things that shouldn’t have happened. Things I worried about, that I shouldn’t have worried about. Things that just happen, they just happen. And when they happened, you cant do anything about it.

I'm suppose to update you on what have happened to me lately. Its no big deal really. Nothing much. Thank God still alive, still breathing. But silent and discreet, surprisingly not so Cathie. The Cathie that everyone knows, everyone loves, everybody’s fond of havin’ around. Even my planner has gone quiet. No rants, no silent smiles, no questions, no emotions, no nothing.

Is this good? Am I getting used to this? To not letting out what I actually feel? To claim that im really ok, but am not? To smile and pretend im not hurt, but really I am? To say im fine, but deep inside really I scream?

I do not wish to make this post a controversial one. I can actually name a few people who can understand what im saying. I am enjoying the silence, but I have no peace. It does not help, it only add hurt. But I am getting use to this. But I want it to stop. And I want it to stop now.

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