...

Sunday, July 24, 2005

its over.. i give up..

1st text:
"Ive done the bravest thing in my life.. Letting go of someone i love, but as ive done my bravest thing.. ive never felt stronger.. all i can do is breakdown.. cry.. and wish i was never that brave.."

2nd text:
"There's a big difference between giving up and letting go.. LETTING GO is sacrificing what was rightfully yours.. GIVING UP is forgetting what was never yours."

3rd text:
"I give up.. :("

Reply:
"_________________?"


*tinanong ko si God, "bakit po may taong manhid?" sabi niya, "wala akong ginawang ganun".. napahiya ako at napatango nlng.. sabi pa niya, "manhid ba siya, o d mo lng matanggap na iba mahal niya?!"

*ngayon tanggap ko na.. :) im finished with all my cloudstorms :) and im drawing rainbows now.. .Freak. days are finally over :)

Thursday, July 21, 2005

right now...

.Freak.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
im loving rainbows... :)

.Freak

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

smile for the day :)

.Freak.

woke up feeling a little nauseated (if ever there is such a term), its a little early to be up, but i had to.. im going to work early.. or should i say, im going to leave the house early because im going to have a lunch date :)

Cathie: ma, can i borrow your perfume? dinala ni tinay pabango ko nnmn eh! mausok at mabaho magcommute eh..

MOM: ang aga mo nmn ata ngyn, anong oras ba pasok mo?

Cathie: 11am-8pm ang shift ko.. 11am ang pasok ko..

MOM: o, alas nuebe plang ha, bat ang aga mo?

Cathie: may lunch date ako :) balik ko nlng later pabango mo.. :) bye..

true enough, mausok at mabaho ang pagpasok ko sa opis..

im gonna meet my acquaintance at 10am, supposedly sa Gale, pero we met nlng sa baba ng ofc at sabay nlng kmi pumunta sa Gale.. we search for a chinese resto bcoz dats wer i like to eat.. we end up sa Ah Sin (im not sure if the sfelling is ryt!) forgetting that Mr. Choi is there nga pla! :( anyhoo, masarap din nmn sa Ah Sin! :)

after we had our lunch i invited him sa ofc, he has his ID nmn, manong guard wudnt know that he is from Alabang.. hehe.. we talked and he experience my job for awhile.. the conversation beside the ofc window went on.. "we talked like we already have known each other for a long time" .. but like all other talks, this has to end, after the hard pour, he left for a gimik with his college buddies.. :(

after awhile i rcv a txt msg.. wrong grammar - i thought.. hehe.. he corrected it nmn and now i know the txt.. :)

the rest of the day went on as usual, some pissing applicants, late endorsements, etc..
the rest of the day went on as usual, but with a smile.. :)

.Freak.



dreams...

.Freak.

Eliel tagged somethng about the interpretation or meaning of my dream.. i checked it up and this is what it says:

when i typed in DEATH:

Dream Dictionary

Definition:

Dreaming about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.

when i typed in MURDER:


Dream Dictionary

Definition:

Dreaming that you have committed a murder indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking. This could also mean an end to an addiction. Alternatively, you may have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at others. Dreaming that you witness a murder indicates deep-seated anger towards somebody. Consider how the victim represents aspects of yourself that you want to destroy or eliminate. Dreaming that you are murdered, suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions. It also represents your unused talents. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.

the murder meaning is the most closest to what i experience right now.. seems so true after all.. :)

.Freak.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

crush-ology 101

.Freak.

This is crush thing is actually from somebody else's blog.. hehe.. ninakaw ko lng! *evil laugh* enweiz, i want it to be here din sa blog ko! Ü


STAGE 1: ALIW AKO!
It goes like this, lalapit ka sa friend mo tapos you'll say:Ei! Kilala mo ba si _____ (mark, joseph, john, mike..or whatever his damn name is!)? Wala lang aliw lang talaga ako sa kanya *sabay smile* Hindi ko siya crush ha! Talagang nakakatuwa lang siya.Kaya nga eh, tuwang tuwa kahit it shows na aliw ka nga talaga grabeh! Di mo ba alam na diyan nagsisimula yan?!?

STAGE 2: NAKAKA-MISS SIYA
Ayan na po, hinahanap mo na. Yung dialogue naman nyan ganito:Uy nasan kaya si _____? Matagal ko na syang di nakikita eh.. Wala lang naninibago lang ako...Sigurado ka bang yun lang? Aba! Bago mo naman siya nakilala eh ok lang sayo na he does not exist eh bakit ngayon hina-hanap hanap mo na? Sigurado ka bang NANINIBAGO KA LANG?!?

STAGE 3: CUTE PALA SIYA!
a.k.a. the denial of reality!Hay ayaw pa kasing aminin eh paka totoo ka na noh!
"Ei, alam mo cute pala si _____! Pag tinignan mong mabuti o kaya. Ang cute naman niyang mag-smile tapos ang bouncy pa ng hair niya. Tapos biglang sasabihin, Hindi ko siya crush ha! Yung hair (smile or whateve na related sa kanya) lang nya gusto ko!TALAGA LANG HUH. Hmm.

STAGE 4: ALAM MO, CRUSH KO NA ATA SIYA
Hay naku! May pa yata-yata ka pang nalalaman! Ilang months or years mo inipon ang courage mo para aminin yan! Eh its sooooooooo obvious naman na! Alam na ng buong barkada mo bago mo pa man aminin... Well at least now honest ka na sa sarili mo.

STAGE 5: TODO NA TO!
Eto na siguro yung part na may maraming complications kasi alam na ng barkada mo at ikaw kilig effect ka sa isang tabi. Eto na yung stage na may sub-levels ayon sa mga kabaliwang gagawin mo.
Shy Effect (DAW!)Okay nandyan ka lang sa isang tabi, nagmumuni-muni kahit within 1 meter radius lang ang crush mo kunwari walang reaction tanong lang ha: HANGGANG KAILAN?
KababawanYung bang tipong nadikitan lang siya by a quarter of a secong ng HIBLA ng damit niya eh hanggang langit na yang tuwa mo... Yung bang pwede ka nang mamatay. Hay grabeh ha!O kaya naman makasalubong mo lang siya eh papasa ka na sa exams... Haha!
Non-stop TalkWell, meaning wala ka nang ibang bukam-bibig kundi SIYASIYASIYA!! It's all about him!!!
StalkerYou're a walking encyclopedia about him: Alam mo na lahat ng dapat malaman tungkol sa kanya - schedule, address, phone number, birthday, san siya tumatambay, lahat ng favorites niya, pangalan ng parents, niya size ng pants, shoes, shirts niya, pati yata brand ng brief niya alam mo na eh! Tsk tsk tsk... Freaky!!
ObsessionDo I have to explain it?


STAGE 6: GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Sa wakas, kilala ka na rin ng crush mo eh di happy ka na?! Its your time to shine at magpakitang-gilas.Kaso take note: This is the most dangerous or should I say complicated stage - once you get toknow him. There might be a possibility na ma in-love ka sa kanya PERO pwede rin na crush molang talaga siya. There's also a chance na mawala ang pagka-crush mo sa kanya and you'll end up being FRIENDS.Daming possibilities... It's up to you what to choose... Basta make sure na its the best for the both of you.Yun lang. At least now you know HOW the process works... ^^

.Freak.

Monday, July 18, 2005

mondays!

.Freak.

haay naku..

mondays are always crappy!

argh!

and the night before..

is always scary..

just last night..

nagigising ako halos every half an hour.. no kiddin'..and the dreams i have wer all the same.. its was all scary.. and all about DEATH..

cguro dahil to dun sa magkasunod na pinanood ko na suspense thriller film kahapon.. kainis, ung process nung pagtulog ko is..

makakatulog ako.. mananaginip, taz ung panaginip ko pa, papatayin daw ako anytime.. *scary tlga!* tapos magigising ako.. taz makakatulog ulit, mananaginip ulit, matatakot, magigising.. so on and so on.. argh!!

but the dream looks like so real.. the set-up, the place, the bed, even the atmosphere..

para ngang there's really a psycho in our room just waiting for the right time to stab me, pero pag nagigising ako, nagtatago siya..

seriously dudes, that's wat it feels like!

haay, crap all that suspense thriller that i watched!

next time for my movie marathon, its only gonna be romantic movies or romantic comedy, or romanatic drama.. lahat na romantic.. para mapanaginipan ko din eh romantic.. hehehe...

.Freak.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

If Only..

.Freak.

others say the movie sucks.. d nmn ha!

well, call me corny.. maganda nmn ha!

sorry guys.. i mah fan of romantic movies kasi.. ;)

twas good, naiyak pa nga ako sa huli eh.. :'(

Edrei: "Ur crying?!"

Cathie: "yah, *sobs*."

i cant help it.. hehe..

kaya mas gusto ko manood alone eh, walang istorbo..

not that i don't want ur company Edrei ha! sympre i had fun din nmn lalo na nung nun mo lng nalaman na locket pla si golden elephant mo.. hahaha..

enweiz, it was one great break ive been looking for..

nest movie?! ... hmm lemme see wats showing next...

im plan to watch this sana with..

.Freak.





beep beep.. my fone just rcvd a txt msg.. after a couple of hours i txtd him..

.Freak.

(girl): i wna b w/u 2nyt, wtch u sleepng, sing u a song wyl holding ur hand, i wna b close 2u & whsper n ur ear.. "m2log kn.. pggcng mo buks mahal p rn kta."

the reply was...

(boy): Hindi pRAng out of line ung mSsage mo?

my reply was..

(girl): ewan.. finorward lng skin yan eh.. finorward ko lng.. gudlak sa defense mo mamya..

(boy): Salamat.

haay.. atleast nagtxt na siya.. :(

.Freak.

Friday, July 15, 2005

life never gets any better...

.Freak.

cant believe my work is done one and a half before my time..

I can testify that when you commit your whole day to the Lord, He guides you, handles you, protects you..

do everything for you..

haay.. sarap magrelax..

sarap pumetiks...

isang oras pa..

hehe...

blog hopping muna! :D

PS. (visited Hunnybunny knina sa Bank.. he seemed ok na nmn.. brought him sandwich.. think its sweet! :) CGmates lets continue to pray for him ha! )

.Freak.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

great day..

.Freak.

great day this has been...

finish all my chores at exatly 7pm!

whoa!

now.. i was thinking..

uuwi na ba ko?? o manonood muna ako ng cne?! hehe!

cge, il check the skeds.. 7pm pa lng nmn eh! :D

.Freak.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

katuwang sa trabaho.. katuwang sa hirap.. katuwang sa overtime..

.Freak.

Praise GOD! He answers prayers..

Meron ng bagong ETC administrator!!!!

meron na akong kasama sa TEAM! ATLAST!

d na ako one-man team.. hehe..

sabi nga ni Patty: "hey cathie, you don't look harass anymore"

kasi siguro nabuhayan na ako ng dugo na hindi na ako gagawa ng MEJO lahat ng gagawin..

hahaha..

basta.. Thank God tlga! :)

PS. - i bought pala a CD with Champ on it.. yes ur right.. its HALE!
Peoples initial reaction: WHAT?! nagsayang ka lng ng pera mo, sana binurn nlng kita!

think they're right?.. then again.. maybe not..

.Freak.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

favorite CG place of all time..

.Freak.

finally.. nag CG nnmn ulit kami.. hehe.. (parang lagi ko nlng ginagamit ung word na finally sa blog ko!)

yes.. and wer else kami nagCG kundi sa pinalit namin sa chowking.....

sa MCDONALDS...

and bagong CG tambayan.. mejo quiet kasi nasa dulo kami.. hehehe..

i would like to propose to the group na CG-han natin lahat ng MCDO na kaya natin! hehe..

cge na.. it would be fun.... db?! hehehe..

sana pumayag sila.. :)

.Freak.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

happy birthday..

.Freak.

Happy birthday daddy..

even though ur not reading my blog, i still would like to affirm all the good things that you've done for me..

*thanks for everything na tinuro mo skin.. maski nung maliit pko na dala ko hanggang ngyn..
*thanks for always giving me tips on everything from studying to finding work, to interviews and to finally working..
*thanks for always asking me wer i am, pag gabi nko.. salamat sa pag-aalala niyo ni mommy..
*thanks for always being there para sunduin ako sa work ko nung panggabi ako.. salamat sa effort na pumunta pa ng Ortigas para lng sunduin ako maski alam natin na maaga ka pang papasok bukas.. (wala pa kasi akong boyfriend eh! hehe, *nagpaparinig!)
*thanks for always making my baon, maski nung pumapasok pa ko ikaw gumagawa ng baon ko.. maski hanggang ngyn na nagttrabaho na ko ikaw prin gumagawa ng baon ko.. Ur the best Chef in the world tlga! :)
*thanks for always understanding my needs.. kaw ang minsan nagpprovide ng kailangan ko..
*thanks for always bearing with us..
*thanks for being the best dad, ive ever had..

well, marami pa akong d nasasabi.. marami pa akong mga nakalimutan ipagpasalamat.. sa susunod na kabanata na lng un! hehehe..

ang happy birthday para kay honey eh TWO WORDS! hehe.. wala lng - nasabi ko lng!

LOVE YOU DAD! :)

.Freak.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

the second time around..

.Freak.

yes..

for the second time around...

the operation was longer than before..

becoz the lump is bigger than the first..

Doc was kind enough to talk me into the operation so that my nervousness would somehow fade..

it lasted for about 10 mins or so..

my right waist was the only thing my left hand holds on to.. crumps on to.. squish on to..

atlast, it was incised..

i can see it bleed, like the water from the river that flows.. so does the blood..

it was horrible.. it was awful.. it was terrible..

But thank GOd it is finally over..

for the second time around..

the only thing that goes around my head.. at the entire operation was...

"When i am afraid, i will trust" - Psalms 56:3

.Freak.

Monday, July 04, 2005

not feeling so good... :(

.Freak.

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.. i feel too lazy to get up and i hate to face the day and go to work, feeling like this..

i think my condition is becoming worst than bad..

everyday its gets bigger and bigger and im scared it might swallow me whole...

medications can't seem to fully help me heal..

God help me. This i always pray.. i know Your healing power will rest upon my head and when that happens i know that the pain will finally go away..

forever.. for good.. permanently..

*Im trading my pain, for God's healing*

Help me pray.

.Freak.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

EB here.. EB there..

.Freak.

May mga rally na nga kabilaan eh, eto prin ako, pa-EB EB nlng! hehe!..

Last day at Convergys Makati.. :(

Going back to Convergys Ortigas! :) whoohoo!

after im finish blogging, il be on my way to rob gale to attend and EB (CHristianster!) and after that to megamall attend and EB din (WWAI nmn!) Whew! hirap tlga ng so many groups.. so many friends! :D hehe

.Freak.

Friday, July 01, 2005

going back..

.Freak.

Haayy..

Atlast....

wer going back...

to wer we really belong...

can't wait to see... ORTIGAS!!!!

(im gonna miss Makati din!, the fishball, the turon, and the coffee served by the service masters.. and the ETC admin.. MAkati Chapter!)

.Freak.

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